Eff You!!!! (and I mean that in the nicest way = ) )

*Sigh*

I'm so sick of trying to be "nice" to folks who don't really deserve it. I don't want to go around biting folks' heads off at the slightest provocation as I am truly trying to be the best person/Mother/Woman of God I can be overall, but I'm at the point where I don't even NEED people in my circle who are phony/disingenuous, self-absorbed and just plain A-holes. I'll just ignore them completely. That is all. =)

. . . .

I just wanted to say, do not envy others for their successes or happiness . . . do you! I just had a "moment" when I looked at the family pictures of someone I've known for a bit. His daughter is gorgeous and the woman I assumed to be his wife is lovely. It hurt for a bit (like a few seconds). I know part of it was that I've always wanted a daughter (to add to my two boys) so to see that little "Vision of Loveliness" kinda stirred up the "Mommy Pangs". But on another note, I felt a sense of loss for him which is strange because although I'm quite fond of him, I've never wanted him to be my man or my husband for that matter . . . I just wanted him to want me. That's some real ish to admit to yourself because it forces you to examine the "whys" behind such thoughts.

I've had issues with seeking validation from others and this is a clear example of such behavior. Well, I'm like 'Damn . . . he's doing him and is happy, why can't you just be happy for him?!' It's sooo not cool to begrudge him any happiness just because it's not with me and it's past the time for me to let that go. So, with that being said . . . here's to letting go and finding your own personal joy.



I feel somewhat better now. =)